6 Tips for Less Stress When Talking About Politics

Even though political dialogue might not be at the top of everyone’s wish list, there can be value in having these talks when the conditions are right.

“When we can and when it's comfortable enough, we should try to engage in these conversations,” says Richard Weissbourd, Ph.D., a psychologist and a senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and the Kennedy School of Government.

Open conversations can help us overcome barriers in relationships and can contribute to more unity on a larger—even national—scale. “Mending the fractures that divide this country has to happen at many levels,” Weissbourd says.

But it’s important to do it in in a way that doesn’t harm those relationships. Having strong relationships is key part of our emotional well‑being. Stressful relationships can have a negative impact on mental health and even contribute to physical health conditions, such as heart disease.

If you enter a political discussion, use these tips to prioritize and preserve your social connections.

Be Honest—With Yourself

Before you start talking politics, consider whether you’re in the headspace to engage without getting hurt—or hurting the other person.

“We have to get into the habit of asking ourselves whether we can enter a conversation with openness,” Weissbourd says. “If you're not able to be open and curious, then whoever you're speaking to is very unlikely to be able to be open and curious.”

Ask yourself: Do I have the capacity to have this conversation right now? Am I stressed, anxious, or dealing with another emotion that might affect how I approach the topic? Can I be curious and open-minded?

Consider Time and Place

Choose to engage in a dialogue in a low-stress setting when both parties are calm and engaged. Instead of falling into a heated discussion in front of the TV with a presidential debate on, opt for a chat while out on a walk or sitting quietly together.

Also, know where and when it might not be a good idea to chat about politics. For example, an office kitchen chat about the election with a coworker who disagrees with you might affect your working relationship.

“You should feel empowered to set those boundaries. You could say ‘I don't really like to talk about politics at work,’” Weissbourd says. “Or, it could be something like, ‘I don't think it really makes sense for you and me to talk about politics, I'm worried it's going to bring up difficult feelings.’”

Set Ground Rules

Before diving into a conversation, set some guidelines that ensure mutual respect. For example, you might agree that both people will:

• Give each other space to share their opinions without interruptions
• Avoid specific topics you know are particularly sensitive or “hot-button issues” for one or both of you
• Truly listen to what the other has to say and avoid making assumptions or generalizations
• Acknowledge that you might not change each other’s minds, and that’s okay
• Keep language respectful. Avoid name-calling or saying hurtful things
• Refer to research journals, scientific studies, and/or government reports rather than posts on social media

Discussing differing political beliefs is difficult but possible when you’ve agreed on shared rules—and shared facts.

“There's a very big difference between a factual disagreement and an ideological disagreement,” Weissbourd says. “It's not of real value to have conversations across political differences if you don't share a set of facts.”

If you find the other person doesn’t want to acknowledge research-backed information or agree on a set of factual statements, it may be in your best interest to stop the political talk.

Point Out What You Have in Common

“One way to safeguard relationships against the negative effects of political talk is to focus on similarities over differences,” says Maira Ezerins, a researcher studying interpersonal conflict and workplace issues at the University of Arkansas. “If individuals share interests, belief systems, or values, it’s easier to have respectful conversations about differences in politics, and this may result in fewer negative exchanges.”

Point out something you have in common or that you both believe in. You may realize you’re more alike than you thought. That may open the door for a more respectful dialogue.

Know That It’s Okay to Walk Away

No one should have to talk about politics when it makes them uncomfortable. If the other person gets judgmental, makes hurtful or hateful comments, or brings up something you’re not interested in discussing, it’s in your power to change the subject or end the conversation.

“Be clear but respectful when setting your boundaries. Let people know what you are or are not willing to discuss,” Ezerins says. “Remember: It’s okay to exit the conversation.”

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